I got up early this morning to drop a friend off at the airport. I came home, sat down on the living room couch, and, with my steaming caramel decaf coffee in hand, opened my Bible to a passage in Romans where I read for a bit. I prayed about all sorts of things. As it often happens on mornings like this, I soon discarded my cup of coffee, laid down, and drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt I was at my wedding, waiting in the bridal suite. My mom was there, along with three or four of my best friends, bridesmaids, of course. I wore a long, slim, perfectly white gown covered in lace from neck to toe, but sleeveless and quite elegant. I carried lilies in my arm. I should have been happy. But I was about to marry the wrong man. Everyone expected me to marry him, this perfect mystery man, and everyone was excited but me. I was in love with someone else; him not-so-perfect, but him I loved and knew I was supposed to be with, for the happiness of us both.

I awoke from this dream, this discovery, still feeling the unease of the expectations and my near mistake, and also the joy of finally acknowledging a secret truth. Knowing who holds your heart is something worth fighting for, worth altering your life for, even sometimes worth waiting for. I don't know what happened next in the dream- whether I fought for him or ended up waiting for him- but I'm certain I left it all behind for him because I couldn't imagine it any other way-- two hearts nearly lost one another, once finally found each other.

Love is a risk, whether you keep it or not. There may be fatalities. The potential reality of this is startling.

Everything worth keeping comes through dying;
Love has come, love has come for you.
~Sandra McCracken

Be soon to sight,
Your loving eyes.
Be kind, reverence, kind
Toward loving mine.

Be soft and light
As touching fair;
Be always strength
As holds me there.

Be nearer now
Than yesterday,
Be always drawing
Closer, pray-

Be always mine?
See, take my hand-
Mine always light
And loving, grand.

Be simple, noble,
Sweet reverent charm.
Be with me, be
My strong, strong arm.