Driving through a stretch of Alabama where a tornado had once torn through, I observed all that was seemingly lost to the winds in the barren place where a forest had presumably been. A few hours into our trip, my traveling companion and I got to talking about relationships. She is a self-proclaimed, recovering, serial non-committer.
"Relationships are a cost-benefit analysis," she broke it down in her clinical psychologist voice. "You have to decide whether the benefit of having this person in your life is worth the cost."
The benefits could be beautiful, uplifting, or pleasant, could last a lifetime or exist temporarily. The cost could mean a simple change in habit or facing a deep fear. You may find that you sacrifice one comfort for another. It could be traumatic. Or, it could be revolutionary. They are each relative to the persons involved.
A friend sent me a Facebook message yesterday, and when I glanced up at what I had previously written (dated Sept 2010), my own words stated this:
I've heard lately about the importance of relationships being effortless. And our friendship hasn't been. But I think I'd take a forgiving one over an effortless one any day. Maybe that's why God gave me the heart that He gave me.
I have no idea what that message was about some five years ago, but somehow it came back to me. My words have a tendency to do that. But isn't it amazing?
I'd take a forgiving one over an effortless one any day.
Because relationships are dang hard.
Looking back, I can see that the trees in Alabama, though they had been shredded bare, were still standing, and, more than that, beholding new growth.
Part One | The Pearl: A True Story of Healing
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