"Humility is simply a basic awareness of my relationship to the world and my connectedness to all its circumstances. It is the acceptance of relationships with others, not only for who they are but also for who I am. I do not interact with others to get something out of it; I make my way with all the others in my life because each of them has something important to call out of me, to support in me, to bring to fruit a vision of God in my life."
~ Joan Chittister, Wisdom Distilled From the Daily


According to the official quiz, my top two love languages are tied- physical affection and quality time. I often end up suppressing my physical affection with others because I'm never quite sure how they will react- some people just aren't comfortable with it, or I might seem to them like I'm coming on too strong. So usually, I will pour all of my energy into quality time and building relationships that way, one-on-one. Meeting someone for coffee, talking into the early hours of the morning, clipping coupons at the kitchen table.

When I moved to Nashville, I was surprised to find that it was a terrible adjustment. Not in the ways of missing my family and friends back home, navigating my way around a new city, starting a new job, etc. More in the way of being forced to spend time with large groups of people that I hardly, if at all, knew (mostly friends of my three roommates and new, common acquaintances). That, to me, is not quality time. I tend to become the least interesting and most shy person in the room, and that makes me very uncomfortable and very self-conscious. But I'm willing to struggle through that because I so much want to be a part of their lives.

I have had to learn that my interaction with others is not about me or my comfort or how easily I can get along with people. Thomas Merton says that we must love people as if our love is an instrument of God's work in their lives, that without it, they may not become the people that God intends for them to become, as if their life and happiness on this earth depends on it. After all, He created us for relationships. And so, I have to overcome my introverted self. Investing in others, as difficult as it can sometimes be for me, has taught me more about myself in the past month and a half than I have learned in a very long time. These wonderful people have somehow shown me who I've been and who I have the potential to be.